Welcome to Anne's blog!

If you are new to the blog, you probably want to start at the beginning of the whole sad story. To get there, use the "Blog Archive" tool in the right column of the blog and click on "2009," and then "January 25." From there you can continue to click on each week to see the weekly entries.

I would love to hear from you! If you would like to leave a message, you can reach me at aheetderks@wcsmiami.org!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

I just took a little trip down memory lane in order to ground myself.  Long story short--I am feeling like we are going nowhere again.  It just seems like we have been at the same thing for soooo long.  I was talking to a man who experienced a similar injury eight years ago and he said that you really have to look back to see how far you have come.  If you just live in the moment, it seems like you haven't moved forward at all.  

So . . . I just looked over all of my pictures and can clearly see that my wound has gotten much smaller, I am no longer bound by the external fixator (I almost had forgotten that thing!), my facial coloring looks more life-like, and I know that I have much more energy than I had in the beginning (or even a month ago).  

People always ask, "How are you doing?"  I'll say, "Great!"--but its not great.  I am still taking killer antibiotics, have an open wound, and have no idea if my bone is even alive.  But I can't say, "Oh, I am not so good . . ." because I am really doing great!  I have come so far!  I actually feel like a person now and I can sort of get around more!  

Yes--we really have come a long way over the last 13 weeks.  Nevertheless, it still seems slow.

My girls really seem to be fearful of the next "bad thing" that might happen to our family.  There have been two times this week where the girls have been in absolute hysterics because they were afraid that one of us was hurt.  Just tonight, the girls and I came home and Doug was not here.  We tried calling his cell phone but it went straight to voice mail.  For the next 45 minutes, both girls were screaming, praying, crying--absolutely convinced that he was dead or had been in an accident.  When his headlights beamed against the window, they both jumped up like a true miracle had just occurred.  They are really fried . . . 

Dr. Carbonell officially signed my paperwork to keep me on disability through the end of the school year.  It is hard to believe that I will have missed 4 1/2 months of school by the end of May.  Sad to me.  Even though I should be at home doing nothing, I am very busy putting together our annual Art Fair.  I may be down but I am certainly not "out for the count!" 

On a happier note (this is a pretty depressing entry!), life behind the wheel has been wonderful.  I can not tell you how amazing it is to be able to drive to my own doctor's appointments and to  pick up my kids from school.  The most exciting part is figuring out the location of handicapped parking spaces, and discovering the electric scooters at the grocery stores.  I just love using my walker to get into Winn Dixie, and then actually having the right to take one of those little drivable carts and zoom around the store!  

Anyway--please say a prayer for our family.  We are all in a state of "alert" waiting for the next shoe to drop.  We need to be able to just chill out and figure out how to take this in stride.  

Love to you all--


P.S.  Speaking of unexpected disasters, Doug went to school today only to realize that his 250 gallon fish tank had cracked over the weekend.  Of course, it flooded half of the library, a conference room, a classroom, and 12 computer desks.  We now have some very stunned fish in a bucket outside our door.  Anyone looking for a sucker fish???

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The horse was sent to the glue factory.  Very sad.  Long story short, the horse heart just never wanted to attach itself to my body--or really--to the metal hardware in the middle of my wound.  Instead of drying out like a scab, it just stayed incredibly goopy and kept falling off the wound.  When Dr. Carbonell saw it again yesterday at Wound Care, he decided it would just be best to throw it away. He also scraped the last little remaining bit of dermagraft (the foreskin stuff) that was hanging around my wound.  My body is just insisting to close up this wound on its own without help.  Very independent wound. 
So, now being into this for 12 weeks, I am still dealing with an open wound, IV antibiotics, weekly liver and kidney blood tests, regular visits from my home health nurse to take care of the wound, a rickety walker, lots of medicines, and an unbelievable inability to move with ease from place to place.  But, heah!--what did I think was going to happen?!?!?  No biggie.  Nothing a smile and a positive attitude can't conquer.  

The one thing that has made a huge difference is . . . (I hate to tell you) . . . I am driving.  It seems a little odd that someone who can't walk should be trusted behind the wheel--but it has been going very well.  I have driven about four times now and know how to position my foot for optimum strength and comfort.  On the night that Elise and I came back early from Marco Island, I decided that I would take Elise over to Walgreens to get some milk.  Elise is always up for anything so she didn't seem too concerned to get into the car with me.  However, when I happened to check up on her at a stoplight, I noticed that she had secured all THREE of the back seat seatbelts on herself--just in case.  Stinker.  

Dr. Carbonell also decided to go ahead and send me to physical therapy even though my wound is still open.  He really wants me to work on getting more weight bearing and (drumroll) to work on learning to walk again.  He continues to caution me that the bone may shatter or die in different places over the next 6 months (that would be bad--many more months of recovery from new surgeries).  

So--I will continue to think good thoughts, pray, stay positive, do what I am told to do, and love my family!  What more can I do?

Love to you all!