It has been a weird few days. On the one hand, you desperately need the pain meds because--without them--you would seriously consider gnawing off your foot with your own teeth just to escape the pain. On the other hand, the combination of these meds and the pain sends you on a mental journey that travels between feeling so happy and loved and content, to feeling tormented, miserable, and depressed. So, while enduring each moment of this journey, you are being asked to stay still, have your first bowel movement, prove you can use your walker, scale your pain from a one to a ten, drink pro-biotic drinks, remember to ask for your pain meds (they can't just give them to you--you have to ask for them), and keep out a watchful eye for any unusual or suspicious symptoms. It sounds simple, but it is actually quite weird and yucky (best way I can put it).
So, WISELY, Dr. Carbonell wants me to slowly wean myself off of my pain meds before I leave the hospital. Yesterday, I was allowed to have 2 ml of dilaudid, while today I could only have 1 ml. Tomorrow--no more dilaudid--just percocet. I am not looking forward to it. Although I have felt much clearer today by being on less pain meds, the pain is obviously more intense. Tomorrow should be interesting.
My Mom just arrived and we are going to watch a movie on my laptop together tonight. Sweet to just hang out with Mom. Just to give you a little insight into how she feels about me . . .
Last night Mom said, "Honey! You got a star on your door! Did you do something special?? You better ask!" All night I quietly wondered if maybe I had been nominated for the "Positive Patient Attitude Award," or "Patient Most Likely To Walk in the Near Future." Turns out that a star on your door means that you are a "fall risk." Just keeping me humble.
OK--hopefully I will be getting another PICC line put in my arm on Monday morning, making a quick stop to the Infectious Disease office for some antibiotics, and then home to my bed.
I can't wait to see my precious husband and kids again tomorrow.
Love to you all--
Anne
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