Wednesday, May 20, 2009

We went round and round wondering if I should spend the day by myself today, or if we should get a "babysitter" for me.  Looking back on my blog, we noticed that I was pretty "out of it" the day after the last surgery (the one where they removed the external fixator).  Although I am in some pain today (feeling the little timer pulling on those strings!!!), I am happy to be taking lots of naps and working to schedule my surgery for tomorrow!  

I had two thoughts though . . .

One, you would think that having surgery would give you permission to "check out" from being a Mom for a few hours.  Not true.  The minute the kids got home around 8:30pm, we were dealing with the last-minute stresses of finishing homework, packing lunches, walking the dog in the rain, and choosing appropriate clothes and shoes for the Hawaiian dress day.  Of course, I was trying to manage all this from my bed--which usually results in a lot of yelling with no one listening.  When everyone was finally quiet, we all realized that the stress is really just about one thing--the fact that Mom having surgery is scary, brings up lots of bad memories, and invites new concerns about the future.  Not very fun.

Two, when I wake up from surgery, there is really only one person I want to see . . . my husband.  When he walks into the room, my heart still does a little happy flutter.  He has been so patient, and loving, and long-suffering throughout all of this.  I love him.  I love him.  I love him.